Strange is the occurrence when you wake up one fine day and feel that your surroundings do not fit you anymore. When you start feeling that your wardrobe doesn’t reflect you anymore, that your friends do not resound your values anymore, that your parenting style doesn’t fit anymore, that your home needs an overhaul as it is carrying old energy and that certain food isn’t for you anymore. Change is desired, but hard attained.
Wow that’s one hell of a list! It might sound impossible but I can assure that the chances of experiencing such changes are very high. One of the major culprits is trauma and the bigger the trauma the greater the transformation.
I find that this need for change comes from a continuous battle for self development and self improvement. Recent exposure to handling young children has been a huge eye opener for me as to how things have changed in children’s development and same has to happen to the way they are handled. Children are more advanced in their development due to exposure to social media, their arguments are made in an informed manner and whatever they do not know, they can search for online and come back to correct you with evidence in hand! It is hilarious but frustrating in the same proportion. Yet, the beauty of it is that things like these get you to research and enhance your knowledge on how to handle these situations and many a times you are required to CHANGE! In my case, I had to learn to discuss more instead of directing, allow more freedom with the chance of facing consequences and I had to learn to exercise less control. I used to think that control is a form of love and it ensures more safety, but I have learned that with children it might trigger rebellious reactions as it is most of the time not received in a positive way.
Lets be honest here, one cannot expect kids to be allowed to freely surf the internet and then succumb to a controlling environment. It was a beautiful enlightenment for me and a healthy learning curve for my own self development.
One of the strangest things I experience is the one with my wardrobe. I associate garments to events in my life and I find that they carry energy and trigger memories like a flash of lightning! Every time I go through a hard period in the year, I find myself looking at my wardrobe and dismissing certain clothes, to later realize it’s because they were making me go back to something unpleasant that happened when I was wearing them. The atrocious part is deciding to part ways with these garments, because apart from the financial loss, it also symbolizes letting go of the past, letting go of that moment that inflicts some kind of pain. Doing away with these garments means looking forward not backwards and leaving behind the people or situations that left that bitterness lingering on.
It is better not to have these clothes hanging in your closet at all if every time you walk into your closet you come out with a heavy heart! Going through this process is painfully transformative yet powerfully symbolic to one’s commitment and strength towards CHANGE.
One of the most difficult things to detect is a toxic environment engrained in your social life. The saying well goes that if you tell an elephant to fly they will feel a failure for the rest of their lives. And same applies to when you surround yourself with people that constantly put you down and always worked in the background to undermine your progess. They keep expecting more of you and send slight digs here and there enough for you to notice, they make fun of you behind your back (or not) enough for you to sense it, and flaunt their assets and achievements in your face to make you congratulate them and bash yourself after for not achieveing anything like them.
Sometime you feel you cannot help it, because of your family cluster, or your job mandates it or your ambition does! You find yourself in situations where you feel the need to frequent certain social circles because if your are not, then you are not part of the inner circle. Yet every time you attend these events you feel sadder, shocked, frustrated, unhappy with yourself and your life and go back home with an immense void and numbness and with tears lurking on you your eyes. It is a disappointing ending every time , yet like a drug you keep attending and you keep socializing with the exact bunch of wannabies who have no values and have no grounding in their lives, hence why they want to destroy yours. If only we give ourselves the opportunity to experience new environments.
Imagine we treat ourselves as a project for 30 days and every weekend or mid-week we make it a point to go to a new place, socialise with new people, join new groups on social media and even perhaps, do a mini-course on an innovative topic an learn something new. I know , I know, easier said than done, there is never enough time and reinventing the wheel of your stubborn static schedule feels overwhelming. But imagine focusing on what you can do just today lets say in the evening. Go for a ride an stop at a different place for a drink before heading back home. Maybe go do your shopping at a different super market, or visit a shopping mall that closes later at night and stay around for a drink after.
The most beautiful things happen when you remove yourself completely from toxic environments and people who only wanted to use you for their own personal gain. And the second most beautiful is when you find your wolf pack, people who will protect you, stand by you and give you a sense of belonging. You start healing when you have people in your life who remind you that you are enough, that you have to prove nothing to anyone and that you are worth it! People who chose you with all your imperfections and still think you are worth being there for.
Change is desired by all of us but it truly is hard attained. Yet not impossible! Because humans are creatures of habit and the human brian has been overloaded with so much that it functions most of the time in brain-freeze mode. Also, continuous stress and stuggle has attacked our nervous systems so harshly that we can barely get out of bed in the morning! We get stuck in this rut and seek help in medicine when the solutions are right in front of our eyes and are free; remove what’s toxic in your life, go out and exercise go for walks in crowded places or gyms where you can meet people and slow down, slow down and do less things at one go because if not, our so called friend the ‘burnout’ will be knocking on our door before we know it !
I’m here if you want to vent.
Always yours,
Brianna xxx
change-me-now.com 
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